Are You a Friend of Dorothy?
by BlueHarlequin
Summary: Gibbs and Tony show up at McGee's apartment because he isn't answering his phone. They meet Hotch and Morgan who are looking for Reid and have tracked his cell signal there as well. Breaking in, they find them in bed together. Misunderstandings between all parties ensue.


Are You a Friend of Dorothy?

Author: BlueHarlequin

Disclaimer: Nothing of Criminal Minds or NCIS belongs to me; this is not for profit. No copyright infringement intended.

Warnings: humour, unintentional drug use, no sex!

A/N: unbeta'd. Please be kind. Updates are always posted in my profile. Feel free to PM me with comments or leave a review, I love hearing from ya'll! Due to some of the site requirements there are some alternate avenues to access my writing posted in my profile as well. **All the uncensored content is on my blog or the other fiction site.**

McGee + Reid, implied Hotch x Reid

Criminal Minds x NCIS crossover

Summary: Gibbs and Tony show up at McGee's apartment because he isn't answering his phone. They meet Hotch and Morgan who are looking for Reid and have tracked his cell signal there as well. Breaking in, they find them in bed together. Misunderstandings between all parties ensue.

* * *

The two sets of agents regarded each other warily. Gibbs rolled his eyes, someone had to go first. "NCIS, Gibbs and this is DiNozzo."

"FBI, SSA Hotchner and SSA Morgan. My agent isn't answering his phone and we tracked it here."

Tony chuckled, "Him? McGeek's got some explaining to do." The headslap was not unexpected but it did cause the two FBI agents to eye Gibbs somewhat discerningly.

The two FBI agents drew their guns and Morgan went to kick in the door.

"Wait! I've got his key." Gibbs glared at Tony. "What? Abby gave it to me just in case. She said 'he's a mayhem and misfortune magnet.'"

Tony heard the young FBI agent mutter to the older one, "Sound like someone we know?"

As he moved to open the door he said, "You know, you probably won't need those," gesturing to the agents' guns. The door swung open and the first thing DiNozzo saw was a bloody dress shirt on the floor. "Or maybe you might," he said drawing his own weapon.

They swept through McGee's apartment clearing the rooms. A trail of clothing, cell phones, wallets and knocked over items led to the young writer's room. Gibbs was the first to reach it and Tony watched as the older man holstered his weapon and walked into the room. Reaching the door Tony stopped just inside and laughed out loud.

"All right McGee!" He moved into the room as the two FBI agents came up behind him. Lying on the bed were the two missing agents. A young man with chestnut locks was covered in all the sheets on the side of the bed closest the door. McGee was laying mostly naked, face down, hanging half on, half off the other side of the bed. He chuckled, "I'm always telling him he should get some action, but this wasn't what I had in mind."

"Shut up DiNozzo! Get over here." Gibbs was trying wake McGee up but he wasn't responding. "Help me roll him over." The former marine sucked in his breath as they surveyed the cuts and black eye that were revealed. Gibbs wanted answers now. He smacked the young agent on the face, "McGee!"

"Ow! Gibbs what the hell?" Tim groaned as the bright light of the morning pierced his skull.

Suddenly the young agent on the other side of the bed sat up gasping for breath. The sheets slid down revealing his bare chest. Blinking owlishly, Reid looked around the room then he looked up at the two profilers standing nervously over him. He blushed deeply as he realised he was mostly naked except for his boxers.

Hotch was staring at him with an unfathomable expression. "Ah! Hotch! It's not what it looks like!" Reid moved to find his clothes but fell back onto the bed clutching his backside. Morgan rushed to his side to help him and the young genius muttered ruefully, "Actually, I don't know what it looks like. I can't remember a thing." The young genius clutched his head, "Timothy?"

The man from the other side of the bed moaned as Gibbs helped him sit upright. "No, Spencer, nothing happened. You know I don't swing that way." Gibbs chuckled, Tony looked crestfallen, Morgan looked at Reid in disbelief and Hotch looked relieved.

"McGee can you tell me what the hell happened?" the older NCIS agent motioned to his injuries. Tony went into the bathroom to get both of the young men a glass of water.

"Yes, what happened? Cause I'm not liking what I'm seeing here. Hotch, look." Morgan was sitting next to Reid examining him. The kid had defensive wounds on his arms that had been cleaned up and a hand-shaped bruise on his neck. Evaluating the marks, the older FBI agent frowned and looked at McGee expectantly.

"What happened is I am never letting Spencer talk me into going with him to a gay bar ever again!" He gratefully accepted the glass of water and the washcloth Tony handed him. Morgan took the other glass of water and handed it to Reid. "I think those two guys who were hitting on us put roofies in our drinks." Gibbs watched as the agent called 'Hotch' visibly twitched. McGee continued, "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Leaving cause I felt sick." Reid took a sip of water. "Then someone shoved me against a brick wall and I heard you shouting." The young agent touched his neck then rubbed the back of his head as if recalling the feeling.

"Yeah, they jumped us from the alley outside the bar. The one guy managed to get in a few good cuts before I knocked him down."

Morgan cut in, "So what happened to Reid?"

"Well, the other guy was trying to get his shirt off but he was putting up a hell of a fight and managed to knock the knife out his hand. When the guy saw me coming for him he pushed Spencer to the ground," he turned to look at Reid, "that's why your ass hurts, you hit it pretty hard." McGee touched his eye gingerly, "He got one good hit on me then we were interrupted by the bartender. The two guys ran away and the bartender tossed us in a cab. I guess he thought we were just having a fight, since I did turn them down pretty aggressively inside."

Hotch spoke up, "Why didn't you contact the police about the assault?"

Morgan added cause he knew Hotch wouldn't "And why doesn't Reid have his clothes on?"

Tony knew that answer to the first question. "Probie, you passed out in the cab didn't you?"

McGee glared at him. "Yeah, just briefly, the only reason we made it in the door was because I over tipped the cabbie. Spencer doesn't have his clothes on cause there was blood all over them. I wasn't sure whose it was so I had to check. The only reason I was able to stay awake enough to clean him up was because I didn't finish what we were drinking."

Morgan's phone rang. "Garcia, yeah, we found him. No, we'll explain on the jet. Okay, we'll be there." He hung up, "Hotch, man, the case, we've got to go." Morgan moved into the hallway to gather up Reid's clothes.

"Reid, we'll drop you off at home, you can sit this one out." The unit chief helped him to his feet.

"Hotch, I'm fine. It's nothing sleep and a couple of ibuprofen can't fix. I can rest on the plane." Morgan came back and handed him his clothes. Reid looked at the bloodstained mess with disgust.

"Spencer, top drawer," McGee pointed toward the bureau in the corner. Reid walked over to it and hauled out a pair of sweats. He also tossed a pair of slacks in McGee's direction which Gibbs caught.

Holding up the shirt, "MIT? Really Tim?" Both Morgan and Tony laughed causing the two youngest agents to glare at them. Gibbs smiled and Hotch frowned which caused Gibbs' smile to transform into an amused smirk.

"You don't have to wear it." He winced as he stood up and Gibbs put a hand on his shoulder and handed him the pair of pants he caught earlier. Tony left the room to brew some coffee. "Speaking of cases, boss, do we have one?"

"Yeah, dead petty officer, Ziva's on her way there with Ducky right now."

Having pulled on McGee's sweats Reid moved to leave when he smelled the brewing coffee. Looking at his friend he inquired, "Peruvian blend?"

"Reid, we'll get you some coffee on the way to your apartment." Hotch started herding all of them to the door.

"Spencer, I'll take you out for coffee when you get back." Hotch stopped and stared at Tim when he said this.

Gibbs laughed, "McGee, don't antagonize the man."

"What?" He looked blankly at Gibbs. Morgan looked speculatively at Hotch and Tony broke the moment when he stepped past everyone to hand Gibbs some coffee.

"Probie, the kid's got to go. You guys can play later." This earned Tony another headslap and an eye roll from Morgan. The three FBI agents left with Spencer waving at them as the door closed.

"What? I don't get it." The young agent looked at Gibbs as he searched for a clean shirt.

"McGee, have you ever met Spencer's partner?"

"No, I suggested we all go out and I'd invite Abby, but he said he just wanted to hang out and catch up with me this time." Grabbing his wallet and cell off the floor he indicated he was ready to go.

"Well, I suspect that you'll all get together next time."

* * *

Morgan was getting an earful as he drove to Reid's apartment. Hotch was sitting in the back with Reid examining his cuts and bruises.

"Aaron, I'm fine. McGee's a good guy."

"Well I'm just concerned about how good a guy he is," he grumbled. "How come you've never mentioned him to me?"

"Well, we met at the Training Center and then he was placed over at Norfolk and we lost touch for a bit. I found out he transferred to the Naval Yard when I bumped into him with his _girlfriend_ over a year ago," Spencer emphasized the word 'girlfriend.' "We meant to meet up again but our schedules kept conflicting. Last night was the first time we were both free to catch up with each other."

"But why a gay bar? I would have come with you."

"He said he didn't care where we met up, and I am sure you would have been bored listening to us talk about String Theory. Besides that, he was going to bring Abby but I was the one who told him not to." The older man eyed his mate waiting for him to clarify. Spencer sighed, "I didn't want you to meet her cause she's got a thing for handsome older men." Hotch smiled as he realised that jealousy ran both ways.

Morgan couldn't contain himself any longer. "Pretty boy, putting aside the fact that I've just found out that you and Hotch are together, I don't understand why you couldn't have asked me to go with you."

"You guys are being over protective." Reid whined. "Plus, the only thing worst than Abby meeting Hotch is Garcia thinking that I set you up to cheat on her. Tim's already jealous enough that Abby adores Gibbs."

"Well maybe we can all get together after this case." Hotch paused, "And don't forget that you and him still have to go to the local station and report that assault."

"Okay, I'll call him when we get back."

* * *

Fin

What'd ya think? Sequel? Reviews are loved!


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